


We're Painted Red to Fit Right In

by holdyourbreathfornow



Series: Family of Three [14]
Category: Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Dimensions, Alternate Universe, Indifferent scientists, Kidnapping, Mentions of Death, More world building!, Multi, Sickness, Threatened violence against children, We finally figure out why Joshua was kidnapped!, Yayyyyyyy!, radiation, severe sickness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:41:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27389650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdyourbreathfornow/pseuds/holdyourbreathfornow
Summary: The expeditions to Xen have too high of a mortality rate.Dr. Montobar needs to find an alternative solution.
Relationships: Benrey & Darnold Pepper, Benrey & Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman, Gordon Freeman & Bubby
Series: Family of Three [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918150
Comments: 24
Kudos: 152





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fic title from Imagine Dragons' Radioactive.

Dr. Montobar nudges the HEV suit helmet across the floor with the tip of his polished dress shoe. His employers keep reusing the same suit, and the soldiers qualified to wear it have begun to view it as some kind of death omen.

At least he knows better. Scientists aren’t superstitious like those moronic soldiers.

“The tests you wanted to run have come in, Doctor.” One of the interns comes into the portal room, silently watching as Montobar braces his shoe on the helmet visor. “Uh, are you sure you should be doing that, sir? That equipment’s quite-”

“Right now it’s useless.” Montobar interrupts. “Can’t even keep our little spacemen alive long enough to get us any good samples. For all I care, this thing’s the apron your mommy wears to bake brownies. Now, the tests?”

“Uh, the body seemed to suffer shutdown after exposure to some unique radiation. It shows up on scans, but we can’t identify it. It’s like nothing we’ve ever seen before, sir.”

“Good, maybe I can finally have something named after me.” Montobar takes the sheaf of papers from the intern. “Now let’s get out of here before this oh so mysterious radiation kills us.”

“Yes, sir.” He pushes past the intern, who stays behind a moment longer to stare at the empty HEV suit on the ground. Then the lights are turned off before footsteps follow after Montobar.

It’s almost time for the next expedition.

-

Montobar doesn’t remember what the current soldier looks like, and he doesn’t particularly care. What he does care about is the fact that the screen in front of him shows that the soldier’s vitals are starting to flag.

“Is it the radiation?” Montobar demands of one of the other scientists, and his subordinate gives a nod.

“The potassium iodide pills don’t seem to be having any effect on the radiation. It’s still killing him just as quickly as the others, sir.” Montobar scowls and heads to the comms station, slipping on a pair of headphones. 

“Speak to me, soldier.”

“...Sir. I’m not doing great, truth be told.”

“And my samples? What about them?”

“Able to fill… About one cart… Not counting the one I’ve a-already done. But my strength is failing, sir. Permission to head back through the portal?”

“Permission denied. Gather as much material as possible, and get me something organic this time.”

“Sir?” The soldier asks, even as the scientists around Montobar slowly start to remove their headsets. No matter how many times they’ve done it, it’s always difficult to listen to a dying man’s final moments. 

Montobar’s the only one to keep a headset on, and the expeditions are all recorded so he can go over them again later. He’s not worried about missing anything, though he is disappointed by his team’s squeamishness.

“Keep going, soldier.”

“Y-yes, sir. I’m pushing the second cart back to the portal now.” There’s a long moment of silence, broken by the soldier exhaling sharply in surprise. “What on Earth-?”

“Report.” Montobar snaps and the soldier coughs for a moment. His lungs are failing. Damn it, and just as things are becoming interesting. 

“I saw some movement. I think I found that organic life you wanted, sir.” The soldier pants quietly under his breath. “C’mere, you little-” There’s the sounds of a scuffle before a horrible, ear-splitting squalling fills Montobar’s ears. He flinches, but keeps listening intently. “Gotcha!”   
  


“Now you can head for the portal, soldier.” Montobar snaps, and ignores the soldier’s sigh of relief as he starts limping towards the portal. 

Two carts come through the portal into the arms of the receiving team, just as the soldier’s vitals fail. There’s a tense moment before his body falls through the portal, landing curled around something in his arms. One of the receiving team members goes to investigate, then looks up to the window where Montobar’s watching.

“Sir, it’s biological life from Xen! And nothing like what’s come through before!”

“Excellent work. Hold it in observation. I want to see.” The team begins moving, but for a split second, Montobar has a clear view.

Struggling in the soldier’s curled arms, tiny claws scrabbling at the metal of the HEV suit, a tiny cat-like creature stares around it with hate and fear shining in its yellow spotlight eyes.

-

The creature’s cage is see-through and has plenty of holes so it can breathe. Montobar finds himself oddly infuriated by the creature, mostly the way it learns English through osmosis and puts child-like levels of effort into annoying both Montobar and the rest of the team studying it.

But all Montobar’s irritation vanishes when one of the tests they’d been running on the creature shows exciting results. 

“It gives off the  _ same  _ radiation as Xen? You’re sure?”

“Positive, sir. Just in much smaller levels. Survivable levels, even, which is why none of us are dead yet.” One of the team lets Montobar snatch her clipboard from her with no complaint, smart lady. Montobar’s eyes scan over the papers and he grins.

“The possibilities! We could use this thing as a way to build up someone’s immunity to Montobarian radiation! Finally we could get a detailed picture of Xen without our explorer dropping dead as soon as they step through the portal!”

“Uh, just one problem with that, sir.” Another scientist steps forwards. “To build a subject’s immunity up to be able to survive on Xen, their entire system would need to be exposed and the cells would need to regrow post-exposure. This process would take almost a decade, with constant exposure to our specimen here.”

“And it bites anyone who gets close to it.” Montobar muses for a long moment before his face goes carefully blank.

“One of you, confirm something for me. We do have parents residing here in Black Mesa with their children, correct?”

“...Yes, sir.” The woman murmurs and Montobar nods. 

“Do any of you know if any of them are close in age to the specimen’s mental age?”

“Sir, you can’t be suggesting-” The woman cuts off the man’s outcry.

“The test tube specimen, Dr. Bubby, has a four-year-old son with Dr. Coomer in Hazardous Waste Disposal.”

“Perfect.” Montobar grins and sets the clipboard down. “Well, it shouldn’t be too hard to… Rob the cradle, so to speak. A little extra credit project for your team.” With that, he turns and leaves, ignoring the man’s gobsmacked stammering as he lets the door slam behind him. Montobar grins to himself as he heads for his suite.

Tonight is the perfect night to break out the good wine. He’ll save the other bottle for a decade down the road.


	2. Chapter 2

They come for Gordon when he’s still asleep, and he can hear Benrey hissing in outrage in their own room as soon as he wakes up from being thrown onto the floor.

“Good morning.” One of the guards sneers at him. “It’s Opening Day, lil man. Time to see what you’re made of.”

“Whatever it is, it ain’t human.” The other guard mutters and both of them snort with laughter before they seize Gordon.

As the two frogmarch Gordon out of the room, he can hear Benrey yelling his name through their vent and knows they have their own guards to deal with. 

Hopefully neither of them get hurt too badly today. His mattress has enough blood stains on it as is.

-

The room Gordon’s dragged to is gigantic, and there’s… Something in the center of it. It glows with bright green light and Gordon can hear it humming with electricity in a way that… Makes him want to move closer. He goes to take a step, not even thinking about it, but he’s stopped by one of his guards grabbing his shoulder.

“Whoa there, eager beaver! I get you’re ready to go throwing yourself into danger like a dumbass, but at least let the doc get a look at you first!” Gordon shakes his head to clear it.

“Don’t damage him.” Another voice rings out and both the soldiers and Gordon turn their heads to find the speaker. “I’ve worked too hard too long to risk him dying because your brutality got out of hand.”

“Aw, he’s just givin’ the kid a little shake, Doc, it’s nothing major.” The other soldier drawls and Gordon realizes this has to be Dr. Montobar. The person in charge of everything. The man responsible for all the hurt and suffering Gordon and Benrey have both gone through.

But his mind can’t focus on the imposing man in the lab coat, his gaze constantly sliding back to the shimmering green portal.

“I’ll be sure to give your daughter a fine shaking the next time you bring her to a work function then, Moran. How old is she now, two?”

“...Sorry, sir.” The guards release Gordon and he staggers forward. Montobar catches him with a hand on his shoulder, peering down at him before he smiles.

“Hello, Gordon. It’s a big day today, hm?”

“Uh… Yes, sir?”

“Good man!” Montobar slaps his shoulder and Gordon grits his teeth to keep from wincing at the pain of it. “Go get into your HEV suit, then we’re sending you through.”

-

It feels like all Gordon does is blink before he’s in a suit and through the portal on Xen. The suit he’s wearing is heavy and a little too big for him, but Gordon is too busy staring around him in awe. 

The entire… Dimension, planet, wherever he is, seems to thrum with energy, and it feels like Gordon is breathing it in, his hands shaking with it. He grins and jumps a little in place, gasping quietly to himself when he realizes gravity’s lower here.

“Gordon?” Montobar’s voice crackles through into Gordon’s ear and he jolts a little. Maybe he forgot they’d jammed that in his ear, sue him. “Gordon, can you hear me?”

“Yes.” Gordon says and continues to explore. Xen looks like it’s made up of a bunch of tiny, floating islands, and Gordon takes a running leap, stomach rising into his throat as he drifts through the air and lands on a rock that’s barely big enough for him to lay down on.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Montobar asks wryly and Gordon grunts in embarrassment.

“Sorry, sir.”

“Don’t apologize. Are you ready to begin the testing?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Great. Take your helmet off.” Someone starts to interject in the background and Montobar hisses at them to shut up. “Well? Go ahead, Gordon.”

“I-is it safe?” Gordon asks, even as his hands move to the seals.

“Oh, perfectly! We just want to know if your oxygen levels will change at all.” Gordon inhales deeply and then the helmet disengages, oxygen rushing out in a hiss. He holds his breath, still nervous, before he can’t anymore and has to breathe. He pants for breath and when nothing changes, smiles and tucks his helmet under his arm.

“Well, you’re not dead. Just as expected. Maybe take a lap or two, let us get a baseline for your heart rate.”

It goes on like that for what feels like hours, but Gordon thinks he could go all day if they ask him too. When Montobar makes him come back through the portal, Gordon still feels like energy is pounding through him and he immediately heads for the vent, sliding up to it on his knees.

“Ben, Ben, Benrey!” He chants, smacking a hand on the grate repeatedly, and Benrey turns themself into mist and pushes through the grate, turning solid as soon as they can. “Benrey, I went to Xen!”

“I can smell it on you.” Benrey smiles and Gordon blinks, lifting up an arm and sniffing at it, like maybe he could find the fading scent of Xen on his skin if he breathes hard enough. “Bro, are you trying to sniff your skin off? What are you doing?”

“I feel weird. All… Buzzy and excited and like I’m gonna shake apart!” Gordon giggles but he’s shaking again and Benrey blinks at him and he can see the worry in their expression. They reach out and wrap a paw around Gordon’s wrist and Gordon falls forward until his forehead is on their shoulder. They hug him as tight as they can and it helps a little with the shaking and his scattered thoughts.

“Too much energy for one lil human body, bro, gotta sleep it off.” They mutter to him and he snorts against their fur.

“Not tired.”

“I will deep blue you, don’t, uh, be picking Sweet Voice fights with the master gamer.” Gordon nods and pushes into Benrey’s embrace a little more, sighing as they tighten their arms around him more in response.

“Mmmmmaybe a small nap.” Gordon murmurs and Benrey chuckles, shifting some extra legs to drag the two of them onto Gordon’s cot. Their tail drags the sheet up and Gordon yawns as he presses his face into Benrey’s fur even more, and Benrey Sweet Voices some notes that Gordon doesn’t open his eyes to look at, though he can see his Name Colors through his closed eyelids.

He smiles and finally lets sleep take him, the last of his unusual energy finally fading away.


	3. Chapter 3

Benrey knows something’s off with Gordon. The Xen smell finally faded off of him a week ago, but yesterday Benrey smelled something else on their friend, something almost… Sick.

Plus Gordon keeps complaining about his stomach hurting.

“You could just, uhhhhh… Shift your stomach away.” Benrey jokes as they carefully comb claws through Gordon’s hair. His head is in their lap and he occasionally groans and shifts around, not able to get comfortable.

“Why do you get to be the shapeshifting one?” He asks and Benrey smiles.

“Got a nat 20 on my luck roll. What’d you get, Gordy, a 2?”

“I feel like it right now.” Benrey keeps combing, ignoring the worry twisting their own stomach into knots. Black Mesa keeps a close enough eye on the two of them that if there’s something really wrong, a medical doctor will come in and fix it.

“I’m cold.” Gordon mutters and Benrey presses their paw to his forehead, almost wincing at the heat rolling off of him. 

“No, you’re way too hot. Might have to icy blue Voice you if you don’t chill out.”

“Noooooo, I hate the icy Voice.” Gordon grumbles and Benrey sighs. Gordon’s always been the one better at comforting between the two of them, and Benrey is very out of their debt with Gordon so badly out of commission. 

“I know, but gotta get that HP bar back up. Your stupid sicky body is makin’ you, uh, take some major hit points.” With a sigh, Gordon stops fidgeting but Benrey keeps glancing up at the door anxiously. Usually a doctor would’ve come by now and Benrey would’ve been punished for escaping their cell.

At this point, they’ll gladly take the punishment if the doctor just hurries up already.

“Gordon. I gotta go find a doctor for you. You’re really, majorly sick.”

“I don’t want you to leave. They’ll hurt you for being out of your cell.”

“Nah, they won’t. Benny knows how to talk their way out of anything.” With that, they carefully stand up from the bed, spitting some ice blue Sweet Voice into their hands and smearing it across Gordon’s face. He whines at the cold but does his best to hold still. “I’ll be right back. Promise.” They turn into mist and squeeze under Gordon’s cell door and out into the main hallway.

Benrey knows they could’ve escaped years ago. It’s hard to stop something that can literally become mist, but they’ve never tried. They’d met Gordon and then they just… Couldn’t leave him. He’d picked them up and held them in his hands the day they met, and Benrey isn’t about to abandon the only person to ever show them kindness. 

There aren’t any guards doing patrol like they normally would, and Benrey manages to flow their way directly to the observation room, where all the scientists gather. They take a deep breath before they go under the door.

“Hello, Benrey.” They flinch at the sound of Dr. Montobar’s voice. He has his back to the door, staring at a computer screen with some of the other scientists. Benrey can’t see what’s on the screen from where they are. They sigh and turn back to their regular form, scuffing at the shiny tile floor with their bare foot.

“Dr. Montobar… Gordon’s sick. Like, bad sick.”

“Yes, Benrey, I’m aware. It’s fascinating.” 

“...What?” Benrey comes closer and almost chokes when they see what’s on the computer screen.

It’s Gordon’s cell, and he’s fallen off his bed, shivering where he lays on the floor, face pressed into the crook of his elbow and legs twisted awkwardly in his sheet. 

“You- He needs a doctor!” Benrey cries and Dr. Montobar barely spares him a glance.

“He’s perfectly fine, Benrey. Just run along back to your cell… Before you regret it.” Dr. Montobar doesn’t look at them and Benrey digs their claws into their palms to stop themself from flinching. Yeah, the doctor’s scary, but Gordon needs them. 

“Just… What’s wrong with him?” Benrey asks and that makes Dr. Montobar turn to them, looking down his nose at them. 

“It appears his body is rather like a solar battery. We sent him to Xen, as you know. And what’s interesting is apparently he needs to be exposed to the radiation found on Xen or else it could kill him. Just like a battery.”

“You- Are you gonna let him die?” Benrey’s mouth is dry and no matter how sharply their claws dig into them, they can’t stop the shaking that’s started. Dr. Montobar blinks at them before turning back to the surveillance screen.

“We won’t let him die. And if you behave, I’ll let you be the one to take him to Xen. He’s bad enough it seems he might need a caretaker.” Suddenly, Dr. Montobar lashes out and grabs the front of Benrey’s scrubs, lifting them clear off the ground. “So, head. Back. To. Your. Cell.” He drops them and Benrey scrambles, squeezing under the door and flying back to Gordon’s cell.

“Gordon?” They head to where he’s lying on the ground. He twitches when they pick him up and put him back on his cot. “Gordon, I gotta go back to my cell.”

“Benny…” Gordon grabs Benrey’s paw and cracks one eye open, looking at them. “Did they hurt you?”

“...No, they didn’t. They’re gonna take care of you, okay?”

“Mmhmm.” Gordon’s hand drops and Benrey carefully lays it on the cot before they turn and head back through their vent. They pull their sheet off their bed and curl up by the vent, closing their eyes and trying to fall asleep to the sound of Gordon’s labored breathing. 

-

It takes another two days before Montobar acts and he only does so when Gordon’s breathing stops. 

Benrey screams as they slam their hands on the vent. If Montobar doesn’t do something soon-

Before they can even finish the thought, Benrey’s cell door opens and Montobar looms in the doorway.

“It’s time. Move fast. I’ve spent too much time on him for him to die now.” 

“Then you should’ve done something sooner.” Benrey snarls and goes through the vent, carefully going to where Gordon lays on his cot. They lift Gordon into their arms and have to muffle a sob at the way his head lolls back.

Montobar and a team of scientists and guards lead Benrey to the portal room and Benrey doesn’t waste any time leaping through the portal.

They haven’t been on Xen since they were real young, but Benrey doesn’t look around, instead growing wings and going from island to island until he finds one with a soft-looking hollow that they carefully lay Gordon in. At some point, his breathing had resumed and Benrey sighs in relief. 

Gordon’s breathing comes a little easier in Xen and Benrey curls up next to him, their face pressed into the side of his arm and their claws carefully put away so they don’t cut his scrub shirt to ribbons as they grip it.

“‘S okay, Gordon.” Benrey mutters as they lay their wing over Gordon as a blanket. “Benny’s here, Benny’s gotcha. We could- Could stay on Xen forever. Eat headcrabs and shit, I’ll hunt for you, dumb lil’ Babydon Humanman.” Gordon doesn’t respond but Benrey drifts off to sleep easier than they have in awhile, Gordon’s breathing steady and getting better by the second.

“Benrey…?” Their eyes snap open later, and they sit up, looking at Gordon. His eyes are still closed, face screwed up in discomfort, and Benrey pulls his head into their lap, playing with his hair to make him relax.

“I’m here, bro.” Gordon relaxes at the sound of Benrey’s voice and spits out some pink to blue Sweet Voice. Benrey blinks, their claws freezing in Gordon’s hair, but when he whines at the loss, they keep going, turning their head to spit out some of their own pink to blue Sweet Voice with a small smile.

He’ll be fine. And when his fever breaks and he wakes up for real, Benrey’s gonna blow pink to blue right in his face to get back at him for waiting to do it until after he’d almost died.


	4. Chapter 4

One thing that Gordon got lucky with was that his time span between Xen visits didn’t get shorter. The longest he’d ever gone in Black Mesa was a couple months, and that had nearly killed him.

Benrey stares at Gordon, who’s whistling to himself as he makes pancakes for the house.

It’s coming up on a month, and the signs are starting to show again. 

“We don’t have a portal.” Benrey mutters and Gordon’s whistling dies off. He keeps poking at the pancake in the frying pan but doesn’t say anything. “Gordon… You’re doing okay now, but-”

“What if I don’t need to go anymore?” Gordon asks suddenly and Benrey blinks as they process what he said.

“Huh? Wait, what are you talking about?”

“Maybe it was something in Black Mesa making me need the Xen radiation! Maybe they slipped some weird chemicals into my food or-!”

“Gordon, it doesn’t work like that.” He sets the frying pan down harder than he needs to, shoulders hunched up to his ears. “You- You know it doesn’t.”

“I don’t want them to know.” Gordon whispers finally and Benrey’s already sliding off their bar stool. “I don’t want them to know how much Black Mesa changed me. What if they don’t see me as their kid anymore? What if they make me leave?”

“Gordon, I am literally not human.” Gordon snorts at that and Benrey tugs him away from the stove, letting him bend in half as he hides his face in their shoulder and curls his hands into their hoodie. “Nobody here, nobody, is gonna hate you. They don’t hate me. You got- Your stealth points aren’t high enough you tricked ‘em into thinking you’re human. You are human, okay?”

“I don’t wanna have to leave them.” Gordon breathes shakily. “Not even for a little bit.” 

“They can’t come, you know that. We’re like, off the charts lucky that none of them got sick during my boss fight.”

“I know.” Gordon finally lets go of Benrey and straightens up, still sniffling. “That’s why I’m not going.”

“...Did someone steal your last two braincells?” Benrey asks flatly and Gordon flinches. “Gordon, you canNOT be for real right now, I musta gotten my ear tubes switched up this morning-”

“Stop it.” Gordon sighs and Benrey folds their arms over their chest, glaring at him. “Listen, if it gets really serious, I’ll tell them.”

“And that’ll only happen when your hit points are in the negatives.” Benrey snaps. “You’re gonna let yourself die so you don’t have to leave them? The longer you put it off, the longer you’ll need to recover! You remember how long we were there after your two month stretch?”

“A month.” Gordon looks away from Benrey and rubs the back of his neck. “I remember.”

“Then don’t do this.” Benrey begs but they know Gordon’s not going to change his mind. He got his stubbornness from Bubby, and that old fucker won’t give in for  _ anything _ . “Fine. You’re bein’ stupid.”

“Promise you won’t tell.” Benrey recoils instantly. Gordon must’ve figured out they were planning to snitch like someone out to collect stitches. “Ben… Please.”

“I promise.” Benrey sighs and darts forward, wrapping themself around Gordon and pushing their face into his chest. “But you’re gonna hear so many ‘I told you so’s.” 

“I can live with that.” Gordon laughs and then sniffs the air. “Shit! My pancakes!” He releases Benrey and goes to salvage breakfast. Benrey watches him as they climb back onto their bar stool, one hand propping up their chin as they start scheming.

-

“Tommy, you worked on the Xen portal, right?” Benrey clings to the rafters of the roof of the basement, also known as Darnold’s lab. Darnold and Tommy are working on… Something, but Tommy glances up when Benrey speaks.

“A- I mean, a little bit? I helped with maintenance and start-up, but the rest of that was usually a different department. Why?”

“I, uh… I was gonna ask if you could build a portal. Wanted to hunt some headcrabs, stretch my legs.” They flex their claws in the wood for emphasis and Tommy stares at them consideringly.

“I-it might take me a little- Might take some time. But if you’re getting restless, then I guess I’d better do it before you shred the couch.”

“Too late.” Benrey mutters with a grin. Tommy sighs and shakes his head, but Benrey can tell he’s smiling too.

“I can g-get Bubby and Dr. Coomer to help me with it.” Tommy looks up at Benrey. “Just… Don’t spend all your time on Xen. I’d still like to see you, too.”

“I promise.” Benrey lets themself drop from the rafters, landing on their feet and pushing their way into Tommy’s arms.

“While that’s, uh, very sweet, I think I may need a bit of help.” Darnold calls and the other two turn to look. White foam is pouring out of the beaker in his hand and Tommy curses as he runs to help while Benrey heads for the door, pausing in the doorway.

They could tell Tommy. They could run to Bubby and Coomer and tell them, too. They could get Gordon the help he needs, right now.

But Gordon trusts them. He’s trusted them since they were kids.

Benrey can’t fail that trust. They just have to trust Gordon knows his own boundaries.

-

It takes almost another month before the portal’s close to being done, and in that time, the others have noticed there’s something wrong with Gordon. Bubby and Coomer especially hate the idea of Gordon being sick, but Benrey still doesn’t know why. 

Gordon’s been confined to bed rest and the others are worrying over him, and Benrey doesn’t know how to convince them to finish the portal.

“Why do you need it finished so bad?” Darnold asks as Benrey sits in the middle of the nearly finished frame. It almost looks like a Minecraft nether portal, a doorway to nowhere hooked up to the wall.

“Can’t a bro just wanna get away from it all for a bit?” They laugh nervously and Darnold sighs.

“Benrey, I can tell when you’re lying. You aren’t, uh, no offense but you’re not the best at it.”

“Yeah, I know. But I promised I wouldn’t tell.” Benrey’s shoulders sag and they hide their face in their hands. “S’posed to be the big bad, able to fight anything and keep my family safe.”

“Well, you’re not the main villain anymore.” Darnold sets his beaker aside and comes to sit on the floor across from Benrey. “You can rely on us when you need to, just like we know we can rely on you.”

“Yeah.” Benrey mutters and Darnold thinks for a long moment.

“If I finish the portal for you, will you be more calm?”

“Y-yeah!” Benrey says, straightening up, and Darnold nods.

“Well, then that’s all the convincing I need. Budge over while I go grab my tools.” Benrey moves and watches as Darnold builds the portal, hours melting away as Darnold focuses on finishing the portal. 

Finally, when the sun’s set outside and Darnold’s button-up is almost completely soaked through with sweat, he sits back, turning off his blowtorch and pushing up his goggles.

“There! I only minored in offworld technology, but damn if that’s not a fine portal right there!”

“But does it work?” Benrey asks and Darnold points to the row of lightswitches by the basement entrance.

“Go turn on the third switch from the left and let’s find out.” Benrey approaches the switch nervously and hesitates. Upstairs, they hear Gordon coughing and one of the others soothing him, and that seals the deal. They throw the switch and turn to watch the portal.

Green light blooms and crackles to life and Darnold cheers, hands thrown into the air. Benrey doesn’t make a sound as they watch it come to life, instead turning and running up the stairs towards where Gordon is laying.

“Darnold finished the portal.” Benrey blurts as soon as they’re through the door, drawing the attention of everyone in the room, mostly Tommy and Bubby.

“...Okay? Why are you announcing it?” Bubby asks and Benrey locks eyes with Gordon, who’s pale and vaguely green with nausea. 

“‘Cause of me.” Gordon says finally and Benrey sags with relief.

“Thank Christ, okay, you can explain later, let’s get you to Xen.”

“No, he’s gonna finish explaining before you two go gallivanting off to another dimension!” Bubby snaps and grabs Benrey’s shoulder. “And don’t you go running off either.”

“They wanted to have someone who could go to Xen without… Without dying.” Gordon says once Benrey’s been deposited on the bed next to him. “And Benrey gives off non lethal amounts of Xen radiation. They kept me in a cell next to Benrey for a decade until I’d built up enough... immunity to the radiation. Then they found out I needed bigger… Bigger and longer doses of Xen radiation just to stay alive.” Gordon sags back against his pillows once he’s finished speaking, eyes closed as he leans his head back and catches his breath.

“They liked to see how long he could go without it.” Benrey picks up where Gordon left off. “He’d be feverish and screaming from the pain, and they just kept watching.”

“Why didn’t either of you say something sooner?” Bubby asks and Benrey nods their head at Gordon.

“He asked me not to. And Benny doesn’t break promises.”

“I thought… They changed me physically and mentally. I’m not even the same person I was as a kid. I thought you wouldn’t want me here if you knew I wasn’t the same anymore.”

“Oh, so you were being stupid.” Bubby reaches out and tugs Gordon forwards until Gordon’s head lands on his shoulder. “Kid, sooner or later we’re gonna get it through your skull that no matter who you are or what you’ve been through, we still want you as part of our family.” He pulls away and gently wipes away a tear that had started tracing its way down Gordon’s cheek. “Now let’s get you through that portal. I’ll explain the situation to your dad.”

-

In the same sandy hollow Gordon’s healed in since he was 16, Benrey curls up next to him and watches as the fever overtakes him. Gordon shifts in discomfort but Benrey pulls a quilt down from the edge of the hollow and spreads it over both of them, hunkering under it as they carefully rub icy blue Sweet Voice on Gordon’s forehead.

Around them, the quilt fills the still Xen air with the smell and warmth of home, and Gordon smiles a little as he sleeps and heals.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Come say hi on my Tumblr: holdyourbreathfornow


End file.
